Nikolay Karachentsova`s memoirs were finished by his wife
Here it, has come true! In publishing house “ Vagrius “ there was a book which we especially waited, - “ Perhaps! “ Nikolay Karachentsova.
As it is frequent at me happens, I start to thumb through the book from the end I find out that the final chapter “ We have stood! “ it is written by Nikolay Karachentsova`s spouse - Lyudmila Porginoj.
I Read and... A lump to a throat.
Head sights since February, 28th, 2005. Since that day when Nikolay Karachentsova`s car runs into a concrete column.
I Read, and events of last months are carried by before eyes. On days. In beat a newspaper line.
“ Sklif “. Resuscitation. A coma. Karachentsov at last has opened eyes. For the first time left in a hospital corridor. Has lighted...
About much it “ already wrote. Because all these days tried to be near to the favourite actor. But here many intimate details which the wife could know only.
There and then I call back to spouse Karachentsova:
- Lyudmila Andreevna, we congratulate on an appearance of the book!
- Thanks. And I it yet did not see. And Nikolay Petrovich too.
- Now that`s something like it... Means, we were in time forward?! Lyudmila Andreevna, tell, difficultly your chapter was gave to you?
- I have written it for one day. Journalist Vitaly Melik - Karamov who helped the husband with creation of this autobiography, has suggested me to write something from itself. I to Kohl have asked: “ How you look at it? “ it: “ You - talented. Give “. He this chapter even in the manuscript did not see. As soon as the book we will receive, I to it and will read at once...
Today we publish fragments from Nikolay Karachentsova`s autobiography “ Perhaps! “.
Mum and ballet
Mummy washing was the ballet master. When I was in young and silly age as it is sung in one of my songs, “ the fog of an eye to me dimmed “. “ the Fog “ this was called as ballet art.
... Mum went much, seldom me nurtured, is more often the street was engaged in it. I loved mum pathologically.
... I grew with understanding: even if mum is not present, it is necessary to clean the house. But how itself to force? I took an ashtray and threw out it on a floor, understanding that I will come in the evening and it will be a shame to me to look at this dirt. So I forced myself, that in apartment all has been licked. The young guy also lives one: when I want, then I will come, when I want, then I will rise... When I want, I will rise - it was impossible, I have been obliged to go in the mornings in school - MKhAT studio. But nevertheless I existed absolutely without any control. And still decently studied.
Here difficult history. The father from mum have dispersed till my birth, but we communicated with the father much.
Parents as - that have very intelligent divorced. Without finding-out of relations. The father to us came, mum easily released me to it. I fine knew the grandmother, daddy`s mum, knew all daddy`s sisters.
the Father has lived the big life - ninety years. Dialogue at me with the father was quite related - up to his death.
I have got acquainted with Ljudoj already at theatre. It is more younger me for five years, studied, as well as I, at school - studios, but at Massalsky and Tarasovoj.
... Ljudu took in “ Lenkom “. And almost at once in “ Lenkom “ Mark Anatolevich has come. Zaharova have confirmed the main director, and Ljuda was entered into performance “ Music on the eleventh floor “ directed by Vladimir Bagratovicha Monahova where I stared.
On “ the Eleventh floor “ our novel which lasted long enough also has begun and eventually August, first, 1975 has come to the end with matrimony. And after three years, already in 1978 - the m, was born on February, 24th Andrey Nikolaevich who is our offspring. Since then and to Andrjushkinoj of a marriage we lived together.
... Time I have not told about ours with Ljudoj of a beautiful love story, I can remember only in exchange that before wedding we with it have gone to the same “ the Actor “ (sanatorium. - a bus comment) But it did not start up in my chamber so in this sanatorium named a usual room. Cleaners sanitarkam, and those to doctors complained that at actor Karachentsova the extraneous woman constantly spends the night. Now they consider themselves almost as our Godfathers supposedly they from the very beginning so have fallen in love also with Ljudu, and me that now wait for us since the winter.
we Married without a pomp, registered marriage not in the well-known Palace in the Griboedovsky lane, and on Leninsk the prospectus - in a usual registry office. And wedding was modest - not at restaurant, and at home. My friends and Ljudkiny of the girlfriend, her parents and my mum have come. That`s all visitors.
At me already anybody from parents does not remain, at Ljudy of the father is not present, but mum is live (Karachentsov has had an accident that night when mum Porginoj has died. - a bus Comment) There is younger sister, the husband of the sister, they is constant with us. I am glad that so have developed. The sister of my wife Ira excellent ends in due time Mendeleevsky institute, it take after the diploma in the ministry. Soon the ministry disperse, is more exact - reduce the staff. Anybody does not terrorise it, on street does not push, leaves itself. Arrives on French language courses. Where it is useful to it, this language? But it is important to it to study it. Then suddenly is fond of ballroom dances. What for? It is not known, but to it it is important. Then - almost on dress-making courses. There is in her life a young man, Andrey Kuznetsov. Not ordinary person. However not all in their life develops remarkably, first of all from - for social conditions, anyway does not develop how they would like. But the wonderful daughter of Nadenka grows, it in honour of the grandmother is named.
Now Nadenka in GITIS, at faculty of directors, or as now it is accepted to speak, producers.
Nadezhda Stepanovna, mum Ljudy, on - simple the mother-in-law, assures me that I - its unique pleasure, thanks to me to it is with whom sometimes to talk. Happens, in the summer on a summer residence all already sleep, and we with it sit till the first dawn, life we discuss. It remembers all ups and downs. “ Koljasik, road... “ can admit that “ sometimes I think that you I love more than Ljudochku “. To obtain such recognition, it is necessary to see the mother-in-law infrequently. It is my recipe. I think that Ljuda from mother has received such motor inside. If Ljuda has grown another, we would live till now on Jugo - the West in small apartment.
Lyudmila Porgina: “ We have stood! “
Not an epilogue
Not an epilogue
that fatal day, on the night of February, 28th, 2005, I have for ever closed eyes to the mum... That mum died, I knew: two years ago the diagnosis - a stomach cancer has been made to it. We did not speak to it about it and as could brightened up life.
... Even in the evening 27 - go I was on a summer residence: has got out literally on an hour - to wish the son happy birthday. Have sat not for long, have symbolically clinked glasses - nevertheless at the wheel - for Andrjushino health. And I have again begun to bustle to mum: “ the Ringlet, it is time to me to go “. - And it: “ Devonka, well, please, we will go to our apartment, stay at home with me “. - “ No, Kolenka, I can not. At us with you the whole life ahead, and at mum few minutes “. - “ Well, give also I with you I will go “. - “ What for to you it? - I began to convince him. Is so hard. It is not necessary. I all the same do not sleep the nights, all time I sit near to mum. If that happens, I will call you “.
... And here phone Nadi, my niece suddenly calls, and I hear its shout: “ What?! What?! Failure?! Where you?! “ I suffice a tube, I shout: “ Andrey, what?! “ He mutters: “ I remember nothing. Kohl badly. It in blood “. Also I hear a voice, probably, the driver: “ In 31 - ju hospital “. I think that it in five minutes of driving from me. The sister sobs, the niece sobs, I speak: “ All to calm down! Irina, you are responsible for mum. Now there will arrive a catafalque, and you will send it. And we with Nadej go there “.
we Come to hospital, I ask: “ Where have brought Karachentsova? “ Also I see a wheelchair which already take out, and on it the cut clothes If, jeans, a sweater, boots - all in blood. I hear words of the doctor: “ At it cranial - a brain trauma “. And how nurses have led, and they have told: “ pojdemte, we will give to you to tea, have a rest... “ - I understand that business is very bad...
the First to Kohl the brigade " has seen; First aid “ - absolutely casual car which came back in the hospital. Having seen the turned car, they have rushed to pull out passengers and at once, still on the journey, began to render first aid. To Kohl they have not learnt - it was all in blood. Kolino a name have found out only under the railway ticket which has appeared at it in a pocket. The doctor has got up all experts... Then I have seen this doctor - Peter Efimenko. Surprising beauty the guy, and such nobleness in his face... I remember, has told to it: “ Thanks you that you have rescued my husband... “
... Returning If was long, it came to the senses gradually, was literally extended THEREFROM. Not only doctors pulled it, not only I - love and prayers, - but also it force of the will lifted myself. The first appreciable changes for me in Kohl have appeared on 25 - j day - it hardly - hardly has begun to move and has slightly opened eyes.... Pricking actually the unusual man with unusual soul. Helped all - apartments to people arranged, phones established, someone in hospital stacked, any money to someone sent... He played the different roles not similar against each other, but always it there were people with surprising power and with surprising good feelings. In it there is a force, reliability, worthiness. It yours faithfully concerns women. Even now, in the clinic, always the first will open a door, to all logopedists will kiss handles.
When Kohl has realised, what it is sick, what at it a serious trauma? When has already passed from resuscitation in chamber, has looked at itself in a mirror and has seen in a head literally dredging. Has felt itself from different directions and has strongly reflected. To us then doctors even have told, that we have hammered in a balcony, knifes - plugs have cleaned all, one it did not leave for a minute and anywhere did not let out. It appears, cases when patients in similar situations for fear before feebleness try to make a suicide are frequent. At If it has not occurred.
... Kohl that day, on May, 1st, - a minus of twenty seven kgs from usual weight, a face edema, a hand swelled, a prostatitis, pisaetsja through every minute, an itch on all body, an allergy terrible. And on May, 1st, having defended all long easter vigil, I have told: “ My God, help, that on August, 1st we could get married “. And here the miracle has come true - we have got married. For me it was valid by miracle. Then to me one journalist has told: “ you consider as the silly woman and the idiot after yours with Karachentsovym wedding ceremony have shown on the TV “. And I speak: “ And you know, it is my life! And I at all do not hesitate of it. Yes, my husband is not absolutely healthy. But it the person who literally has rebelled from dead, has found forces to make that, on what healthy people cannot find forces “.
... In November I had a birthday. The first birthday when Kohl could not congratulate me for many years of our joint life. How much colours he usually dragged, hid always - that where - that gifts! I woke up, all filled up with colours. I kissed it, embraced, then went to call to mum, to give thanks to that she has presented to me life. I have risen: there are no colours, and Kohl sleeps. I have run to mum to call, and mum is not present. I have sat down - I sit also to crying. I think, My God, give me forces. I began to read at once a prayer. Because right now, after long years of our life, me so does not suffice, that it has sat down easy nearby, having put the hand on mine, and has told: “ Devonka, yes all is such nonsense. You know, to us the worse, the better. Yes I now will go, I will tell to whom all is necessary also I will make “. There is no now at me it, year live, as my wall has failed. And it at me, as the small child on hands. For me not it is heavy, I simply do not have Kolinogo of a shoulder because for this internal force I when - that it have fallen in love, at once, as has seen.
... After the second operation I was on duty, did not sleep all night long on the second folding bed - I have broken the first.... It has gone to a toilet, and I hear that it falls, I hear this terrible knock of a body. During the same moment I sharply jump, the cloth breaks, I fail feet up. At last I have got out from - under folding beds, have jerked in a bathroom and I see: it lies about a toilet bowl, eyes are closed: “ Where I? “ I try to lift it. I open to it an eye, other hand I pull it. It both is ridiculous, and is awful. I shout: “ the Head? “ and it to me: “ I not a head, I... Has hit “.
... For If there is a concept “ a family “ also there is nothing more expensively - either glory, or success. I sometimes asked: “ And you could throw from - for us theatre? From - for us with you, from - for me? “ he responded: “ Certainly “. - “ And if I atjdu from theatre? “ - “ I too will leave with you “.