Rus News Journal

The buyer has the right to howl!

in the beginning of 2008 declared a crusade against silly instructions. Has bothered that authors of documents who should facilitate life to the people, for fools hold all country. But here already half a year has passed, and the stream nelepits all does not run low. To the contrary, by the summer deterioration were outlined...

the Main entertainment of July - kommunalshchiki hot water have disconnected. Go supposedly people, to a bath. And in baths it is possible that is and - akogo to see enough. Especially on women`s day. For example, in Slavyansk - on - Kuban in a bath the announcement hangs: every Saturday women wash in man`s branch (former female) .

Or here F.Kalmykov from Saratov has decided the conditioner to put. Also has found out in the operation manual the prevention: do not drink from the conditioner! it is fresh! Ours - that the people more and more from a glass have got used to drink. With conditioners - that to clink glasses inconveniently.

From the same series the instruction to the refrigerator (pr - to Taiwan): do not touch with language the evaporator of the freezing chamber as your language can freeze . Probably, it for those who adores to lick on a frost door handles and a water pipe. In the summer - that in it to be engaged there is nothing. Let train!

And on a broader scale Ministry of Health reduprezhdaet! (The Dyne Chernetsky on/ d station in Sevastopol Has seen.)

If after all these exercises all of you - taki have caught a cold, then it is necessary to visit in children`s polyclinic 3 cities of Krasnodar. Here, as informs Irena Veligura, you will meet a friendly reminder: On an appointment to come with an out-patient map, the insurance policy and the CHILD .

And throughout a children`s subject - advice on struggle against a sleeplessness at doshkoljat from a block calendar Family for 2008 (V.Bondarchuk from Petersburg has sent in edition): If at the child of a problem with a dream, it is better to it to refuse caffeine which contains in coffee, and also from nicotine and alcohol . It from what age needs to start to be drunk and smoked to be in time to school from all it to refuse? From a manger?!

And here already and which - that only for adults. Larissa Popova has got napkins for intimate hygiene (pr - to China) and on packing has met the next masterpiece: the Man not three. The woman three. At itself three. At others not three, hygiene will leave from you . It is good that in China did not read Pushkin. And that the remake would be born: Three maidens under a window rubbed late in the evening ...

in Bashkiria Venus Musin has come into jeweller salon. And directly on an input has read: the Buyer has the right to howl and receive two products at the price of one . It that - shop for wolves - werewolves? To the one who will raise a howl at purchase of a silver bullet, a control shot free of charge?

A.Davletshin on road service station of Ufa has bought the ticket. Also has found out there an inscription: the Ticket not to heat up! our reader Has obeyed. Has not heated up. And in vain! Suddenly secret letters (in style of dairy letters of Lenin from tsarism torture chambers) there have appeared... No, all - taki not needs to be carried out each instruction literally!

you will work All day and night on a drugstore! (A photo, without arranging, have sent Tamara Vagova and Evgenie Ogurechnikov from Volgograd.)

SINGLE LINE

Use a chair, if it in failure condition (from the instruction to a stool for feeding   the Junior pr - to China).

For elimination of stains it is required to you himuistka (an inscription from a label of a children`s suit, it is made in Turkey).

To data of passengers: a method of the requirement of a stop - oral! (the announcement in a fixed-route taxi).

the Brush for feet wooden with a natural bristle, is intended for care of hair (from the instruction to a scraper for heels pr - to China).

For a pie Apples in clouds it is necessary to take 1 glass of sugar, 1 glass of sand... (the recipe from an appointment desk calendar for 2008, is printed in Russia).

do not paint a product (From the mobile phone operation manual, Malaysia).

the Guarantee coupon loses force if the seller proves that product damage is called by hit in the DUST (from the instruction to the vacuum cleaner, pr - in Germany).

to save hot drinks longer hot, it is necessary to rinse preliminary their warm water (from an instruction to the Chinese thermos).

If you have seen ridiculous instructions, send them to the address: Old Petrovsko - Razumovsky journey, d. 1/ 23, p. 1, 6 - j a floor, Moscow, 125993, with a mark on an envelope: Instructions for fools . Or on el. The address: stass. Winners are waited by a prize of 3000 roubles and souvenirs from.

the Photo of drawing of Valentine DRUZHININ

RED SLOPS: Oh, my Dubai, Razdubai!

Advice to the tourists going to the United Arab Emirates (Enriched Arab Emirates)

do not try to consider the female face hidden under a veil. For such tactless behaviour pin up a bayonet and turn out from the country.

If you want to rise before, get muedzina on a minaret where - that on the half-sixth.

the Entertainment the well-known Arabian coffee, in which the oil droplet (for taste), - hospitality display is added. To refuse an entertainment here it is not accepted - will chop off a hand and will send from the country. The good form considers to drink 6 - 8 cups of coffee, and then it is polite to thank and measure pressure as a sign of satisfaction.

do not set to the Arab of questions on his wife. All Arabs, as well as Russian tourists, pretend, as if they do not have any wives.

In the Emirates it is accepted to smoke a hookah. But try not to smoke a hookah in the street, especially to get a light a hookah from passers-by, and especially - to shoot a hookah. Not finished smoking hookah do not throw out in an ashtray!

Ask, that in tour, where all inclusive which - that it was possible to disconnect and take sometimes money.

Having dissolved with water inexpensive water colour paints, it is possible to fill empty bottles from mini - a bar!

And the most important. At striptease visitation have at itself a pack rezanoj papers to put it in another`s pants. The present money thrust in pants to itself. Believe, it is much cheaper and more pleasant!

Our inquiry

Capital United Arab Emirates - Shubadubai.

the Spoken language - not clear.

Sunny days in a year - 368. There are also solar nights.

Any inhabitant and the visitor of the Emirates, suffering affliction a sleeplessness, can call by free of charge Shahrazade to phone 1001 and be converted behind the help.

90,5 % of territory OAZ are occupied with wilderness Arabika in which grow up the well-known fried coffee. Coffee grows at once fried, as in wilderness daily average temperature - as in the Russian furnace.

to the TOURIST ON the NOTE

the country Holland Is good!

For rest in this remarkable country know that in Holland it is officially authorised:

to register marriages between married men;
to marry itself;
to register marriages between animals and the scientists studying their behaviour;
to take part in the dog weddings (the dog marriages, by the way, too are officially legalised);
to drive the car in a state of intoxication with a speed no more than 220 km/ hour;
to beat off little girls at the friends;
to divide into a zero, to differentiate nediffirentsiruemuju function;
to exhale a marihuana smoke in the person the policeman;
to smoke tulips, bambak.

carrying out of concerts against drugs Also is strictly forbidden!