Rus News Journal

Shit - the progress engine?

one of these days the colleague has brought from any presentation... A shit piece. By the form - the real, and you will get accustomed - a hi-tech product from polymer. Shit in Russia, of course, and sufficed earlier, it at us, can, pobole, than in Europe and America, together taken. Yes only disposed of it not on - hozjajski - a mount brought down on fields yes dug in. And shit - that, appears, it is more favourable to trade at retail, a shit separate, so to say. On two dollars for a shit is what heap of money it is possible to heap up! It is especially pleasant that capitals on excrements are done not by overseas bigwigs, and our Moscow businessmen - zolotari (the goods are certificated in the Russian Federation). Have learnt, so.



a shit crushed (so appears on a label) saves working life till 2013. It is pleasant - there is any confidence of tomorrow. However, on the same label the reservation - " is made; To avoid hit of sun rays, to store in a dry place . But work on improvement of consumer properties proceeds. That day when the Russian shit becomes the best in the world - nerazmokaemym, heat resisting, not subject to inflation and rate fluctuations of convertible currency is not far!



I shivering or the right have the louse?

the Kirov match factory the Red star has surprised consumers of production with an educational doublet of labels under the conditional name dumb animals . Not at once you will guess, why among million nation of insects these are chosen is dark blue padalnaja a fly and the head louse. And than worse lobkovaja? And bugs - lovely and amusing animals? Obvious omission. It is clear to undertake such uneasy business, it is necessary to possess encyclopaedic knowledges in the field of parasitology.



well would print then naked maids - such pictures at least light!

is much closer to the person the firm from Ramensky area of Moscow suburbs has managed to come nearer chaerazvesochnaja. On packings of their production not any there poedateli shit and krovososy, and, we will not be afraid this word, primacies. And the family of macaques (or monkeys) is represented obviously exemplary - you of grimaces, rukoprikladstva. Here so it is unostentatious, it is thin founders of this masterpiece bring to thought us: It is not so much work, how much Ceylon tea has made of a monkey of the person!



know, with what it the guy... Saws?

One more exhibit is delivered straight from France. On the one hand it is, of course, pleasant that our national hero Yury Gagarin, whose portrait has appeared on a wine bottle, supports high degree Russian - the French relations. And on the other hand - a label and background of occurrence of the given drink, stated on it, any, know, muddy. Well Gagarin has visited small town Saint Gilles, but after all any joint ventures with local wine makers did not organise! A leah drank even their wine - not clearly. If on - simple, it is called - piracy use untwisted e... In a brand orbit. Or show to us on the same label of the facsimile, the contract, the report, fingerprints...



MELANCHOLY of ANNOUNCEMENTS

the INCOME from 18 till 65 years... (The newspaper Va - bank has sent L.Karelin, Perm). And after all it is possible and for life to receive! - Ant. .

g I Sell. The house of academician Pavlova. (From gas. a fullface prisl. E.Shishkov, Rybinsk). Earlier that is curious, in the same place was on sale Charles Libknehta`s summer residence - Ant. .

Acquaintances. I lead up to wedding of Tatars (from advertising ezhened - ka, has sent T.Balashova, Moscow).

the Organization sells ferro-concrete rings SQUARE (the newspaper Izvestnik T.Kalinovsky, Kirov). The problem of a quadrature of a circle is solved! - Ant. .

Help. Ritual services. Body export it is free. Round the clock. Discounts (the reader

N.Ryazantsev, sent this announcement from gas. Va - bank - Ekaterinburg is interested, where can take out and throw off bodies FREE OF CHARGE? In a ravine?).

salutary force of military medicine! The Voronezh military hospital... The TOMATOLOGICHESKY help ( the Young Communard has sent S.Skalichev, the Voronezh region) . Yes, this year the help will not prevent tomatoes - wreckers, a phytophthora... - Ant. .



PROGRAM teleperdach

REN TV

14. 15 the World of sports by BASINS Gillette (ezhened. the Express train Rubtsovsk, V.Safargalina from Magnitogorsk) has sent. Basins from Gillette - it is better for the man is not present? - Ant.

channel NIT (Moldova)

12. 25 neprisuchennaja Africa . Dock. A serial ( the Aerial Kishinev, prisl. Z.Khodyrev). The serial is removed on concepts or how? - Ant.

Russia

12. 15 In search of adventures. This time you are waited by acquaintance to the MOST SOUTHERN African country - Tunis ( AiF A.Lezhikov from Moscow). Strange, and on maps Tunis why - that draw in the extreme north of the African continent... - Ant.