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Chemical war
at school I began to feel mistrust to chemistry. No, I was not against a science. And, as any pupil of average Soviet school respecting, time and again in the peace purposes mixed a magnesian shaving with manganese and methodically impregnated publications of the Central Committee of the CPSU in a saltpeter solution. But to realise that all around, including a cat, - more or less successful combination of molecules, my reason refused. Have passed years. My interest to pyrotechnics has run low, and the only thing that by means of improbable efforts of will I could remember from a school course of chemistry, - a word formaldehyde . However, the history stated more low shows that the chemistry and life on - former are indissoluble and to forget about it it is not necessary. To be exact, costs nedeshevo.

One fine day, without having found out in the case of a favourite sweater, I have alarmed the wife then has learnt that the sweater among other subjects of clothes is two days in a dry-cleaner. And though at a word a dry-cleaner I for a second was captured by easy excitement, nevertheless the wife has been let go in peace. All - taki the twenty first century. A gene have thought up. To space without special need we fly. A sweater - that not the biggest size of a dirt can clear! And if as happens, so it from DNA for certain can be restored. In general new will be. About such thoughts have lodged in my soul rest. And when from the wife I have learnt that a dry-cleaner not simple, but German, with the characteristic name Klaus has at all relaxed. Germans in insult will not give a sweater. Reputation!
Still every other day, having exchanged the receipt for the things wrapped up in cellophane, I have found out that them, apparently, indeed tried to restore, but it has not turned out. The science history, as it is known, knew also failures, but in - the first, such failures I will not remember, and in - the second, nobody informed me of passing experiment. All my three sweaters, being expressed by a technical language, have failed. Each of them on - to the has reacted to chemical process. One has considerably changed colouring, another - the size, and the third in general has passed in the overalls category: the new invoice gave the chance to use it as a bullet-proof vest and a diving suit simultaneously. Of the chemical nature of experiment reminded a proof smell of reactants unknown to me (saltpeter, magnesium and manganese smell at all so).
- Write the complaint, - has easy reacted priemshchitsa, having stretched me the handle and the form.
I have stated an essence of claims and have offered scientist - to chemists Or to return to my clothes an original form (at uneducated hope springs eternal) or to compensate to me cost of products (at romanticists the hope in general lives eternally). This very day by phone I have contacted the technologist of a dry-cleaner and primitive language of the consumer have told about a trouble. That has confessed that supposedly there was a sin, have not noticed, but has promised by the morning all to correct. And though the logic persistently resisted, desire peacefully to return things in a primordial form has forced me to believe to the technologist. But has not passed also three days as the technologist of a German dry-cleaner has deprived of me after companion Benderom of belief in mankind. From all got properties of a sweater have lost only characteristic smell. All the rest was available. On the request to fasten with me business correspondence the employee of point of reception has answered:
- I will not undersign anywhere, call tomorrow to our managing director.
new day has been noted by acquaintance to the operating. The German dry-cleaner to Russia was represented by somebody Armen Lvovich. Having listened to me, he with east calmness has objected:
- Well, also what you hatite?
I have once again told about the desires, having mentioned in vain law article 35 About protection of the rights of consumers .
- And what ne is pleasant to you? - Has reached from a tube.
I have in detail told about what it were remarkable a sweater, in what shops I bought them, with what proud kind carried and than all it has ended.
- and than you ne has arranged quality of cleaning?
conversation began to remind a known joke of the Georgian and the Armenian and about what one is better than another.
- most likely, quality.
- what such quality?.
conversation proceeded in such spirit some more minutes. At last Armen Lvovich has asked:
- Well, and how many you want money?
- it is exactly so much, how many there are I of a sweater, that is 600 dollars, and the paid 440 roubles for clumsy assistance.
is much, - the managing director has suddenly solved. - and in general, you do not receive any money.
then I have addressed in the Moscow society of protection of the rights of consumers that on Mjasnitsky, 44. Taking from me 250 roubles and having found out circumstances of business, the lawyer has step by step described everything that I should make to win in fight with the enemy. At first it is necessary to write the repeated complaint - in duplicate, one of which, with the autograph of the representative of a dry-cleaner, I should leave to myself. Then, in default dry-cleaners to fulfil the requirements specified in the complaint, it is necessary to direct ill-starred a sweater for an independent expert appraisal - but at all in TSNIIbyt, in such cases representatives of dry-cleaners as usual suggest to make. This organisation develops preparations and technological modes for dry cleaning and washing, and also is engaged in standardization of dry-cleaners. (Until recently she knew their certification. The governmental order #287 About modification of the inventory, subjects of obligatory certification, the list of works and the services which are subject to obligatory certification, and in production list, which conformity can be confirmed by the declaration on conformity according to which obligatory certification of dry-cleaners is cancelled, has come into force on May, 22nd, 2002.) TSNIIbytu to give out the conclusion about infringements of technological process of cleaning even if after it your things are liable to destruction as the chemical weapon, - all the same what painfully to bite themselves for a hand. At least, under the statement of the lawyer, for its memories examination TSNIIbyta has not drawn any conclusion in favour of the suffered client.
besides I have learnt from defenders of consumers that sending of things for examination the dry-cleaner nevertheless should carry out. In no event it is impossible to take away things from a dry-cleaner and most to bear them for examination. Then will prove participation of a dry-cleaner in damage of things rather inconveniently. And only having received an independent experts statement confirming my correctness, it is possible to direct business to court. Such conclusion almost determines a suit outcome in my advantage. Also to me have told that in a society of protection of the rights of consumers there is even a special aunty - a thunder-storm of dry-cleaners. I also should resort to it at a following stage.
I already anticipated fast punishment over a dry-cleaner, but the magic aunty has unexpectedly declared that chances at me percent twenty. Here to you and a thunder-storm of dry-cleaners! When I have asked about the bases of such forecast, she has heaved a deep sigh:
- Statistics.
also has explained that in similar cases from a dry-cleaner and earlier it was difficult to achieve indemnification of losses. And after entering of certain changes into the law About protection of the rights of consumers it is enough to representatives of a dry-cleaner to declare that they could not find out product special characteristics at acceptance that is why did not expect its possible damage.
despite pessimism of the professional, I have decided not to surrender. Remaining true precepts of the lawyer, I have directed the repeated complaint to the main office of a dry-cleaner. And in some days has received the official answer in which appeared that mine Products were processed on existing and confirmed gostam, according to firm marks - the manufacturer, and no infringements of temperature modes and other parametres in the course of processing occurred . Also me have notified that the products having incomplete, wrong marks or absence those, are processed according to STATE THAT R 51108 - 97 . For possible consequences of result of processing of such products it was recommended to me on the basis of articles 1095 and 1096 GK the Russian Federation to make a complaint to the manufacturer or the seller of products. So the conflict of interests has got the documentary form and long character. It was available also a deceit. After all in the first telephone conversation the technologist has confessed that through an oversight process has been stopped earlier, than it was necessary, and it, actually, and is infringement other parametres in the course of processing . But, as well as Armen Lvovich, the technologist Natalia Ivanovna promised has for ever forgotten about our conversation. On my requirement to transfer to a thing for examination main Klaus having grinned, has answered that it is necessary to you - you and give, and employees are occupied from all of us and to be engaged in your nonsense there is nobody .
I continued a siege some more days. When has expired month of active operations, my patience began to come to an end. There were few days before holiday. My requirement to a dry-cleaner Klaus to subject the spoilt things to an independent expert appraisal remains unsatisfied. The lovely raccoon represented on an emblem of a dry-cleaner, has appeared a harmful creature. Holiday at the sea has definitively broken my fighting spirit.
probably, it was necessary to continue visitings of legal consultation, to employ the lawyer, to give up work, eventually, - and to prove that the predatory raccoon is not right. But I, misters, have surrendered. Moreover, has decided not to make at all farewell scandal, and to remain in memory alchemists the magnanimous consumer. When I have come to take away things has found out that employees of a dry-cleaner have sewn up it is not known whence appeared on one of sweaters a hole. I though also have not submitted a kind, but in a shower have a little thawed. Priemshchitsa, probably having felt it, has lovely smiled. And then has strictly added:
- From you 30 roubles for clothes repair.
KONSTANTIN CHERNOV