Rus News Journal

As I wrote verses to order

While the others in edition prepared anti-recessionary advice how to save on a toilet paper and there are oranges with a peel, I represented from myself colour of Russian intelligency. A pier, to crisis of the relation I have no. But, whatever you may say, and money began not to suffice. What to do? To sew and knit to order? For what! In edition have advised:

- And you write verses. For money!

the Newspaper or the Internet?

to be closed up by the author exclusive pozdravljalok on feasts, anniversaries and other dates, it is necessary to find clients at first. Those who without rhymed lines does not represent a feast. In Pushkin and Yesenin`s country, fortunately, it is a lot of them.
I met Offers of poetic services in the newspaper of free announcements. But the newspaper with announcements leaves once a week, and it would not be desirable to pull. And to give the phone in the newspaper for the sake of experimental attempt - not a variant.
It is possible to descend still cut-aways to print and scatter them in public places. These are the fruits will unequivocally give, but time is necessary. As a result I was registered at the most talkative forum of a city under anybody “ the Girl on a game “ also has offered the pozdravitelno - vospevatelnye services. Just on the eve of March, 8th.
offers did not fall down, in abundance. A subject looked through, but anything to me did not respond. In the upset feelings I have left to meet feasts.... And after March, 8th the people were combed...
“ here to what this fucking crisis has finished young talented poets! “ - fast behind fast ladies sympathised. “ anything, I in youth with the group in underground transition at “ Polytechnic University “ played, here times - that were... “ - has stopped all he/she is any vigorous muzhik. Fasts have passed already on the second page when the first real offer has arrived...

“ Make to me a complex of verses! “
“ I want to reserve in you a complex of verses, - any muzhik wrote to me in lichku, - the offer in verses to my girl to marry me, verses for her parents (especially I suggest to allocate the future mother-in-law) and to steam of verses - congratulations on wedding. Volume - about three quatrains. About the price we will agree later. Names of the girl and native I will send, if you agree “.
I, naturally, have agreed. To compose a complex of verses - same not a pig-breeding complex to construct! Has received names of all fair company and has sat down to table in the evening to create.
it would not be desirable to create. Nevertheless one business - at own will to write a congratulation to the friend on birthday, and another - to suggest to marry to any unfamiliar aunt. The muzhik on my requests to send a photo of the beloved did not respond. Therefore I have impudently blown off verses of any French poet on the golden-haired and blue-eyed goddess from the Internet, Masha has substituted in them a name, having brought down all rhythm, and has sent to the potential client. It has turned out about the following:

About the golden-haired goddess,
My lovely angel here as here
And lips say thy name
Maruseju you call

will not name so that that is rough
To me will reject resolute pressure
You I see, all to me ljubo
And in the sky - angels chorus.

eyes, as the sky, blue
And a neck, as at swans.
I speak to you for the first time:
I Ask, Marusja, be mine!

has passed day. I waited for punishment for plagiarism when has seen in lichke the answer in the evening: “ Wonderful verses, thanks you big. It is ready to pay for them 500 roubles, I wait following verses. Here my number aski, write, we will agree about transfer of money “.
Half-thousand for 10 minutes shastanja on the Internet and 5 minutes of alteration of verses of any genius of the beginning of 20 centuries under requirements of the customer! And for the complete set of wedding verses the muzhik has offered me 1 000, and I have solved while with it not to communicate. And then to tell truth about plagiarism, but after the experiment termination.
by the way, I saw Masha`s photo then - instead of the golden-haired goddess from it at me looked strizhennyj a hedgehog vorobyshek.
My God, what - I the stinker...

yes here works the sea!

the Photo: Alexander UTKIN

“ the Girl, and at you appearance pleasant? “ - Someone was interested. Then forumchanin has opened the intentions: “ At us here anniversary at the mother-in-law will be, the host expensively to invite, can, you under the original scenario will spend? “
anything, except any alcoholic relay races and hide-and-seek on an undressing I do not know. Therefore has refused. Offered me for it, without having seen neither the scenario, nor my face, 4 000 for 3 business hours. Probably, the others took time in two more. Similar variants, by the way, it is possible to find much...
Is not present, respected, my destiny - quiet lyre.

the following offer was very clear. Somebody under anybody Boss, appeared in practice all - that subordinate of the serious lady, asked to write a congratulation for an anniversary of the chief. Probably, in crisis people by hook or by crook strengthen backs. I have more decided not to be engaged in plagiarism and podhalimskie verses the river have poured down from - under a feather:

At you today anniversary
I do not shout any more: “ Pour! “
And I congratulate you, Tatyana,
Gifts chose zealously.
to us crisis any is not terrible,
While we under yours...

well and so on. Almost the page left. For a masterpiece I have impudently demanded one thousand. Careerist Âoss did not bargain.

one more it is real ushiblennyj crisis forumchanin has sent the touching request: “ My spouse recently have discharged from office which she very much loved. Now she worries, and I very much want it to support. You could not help me and compose kind verses for it? “ Kind are a problem. In the end - the ends I have survived from myself:

do not long, native, after all nearby I,
Crisis by crisis, but our marriage is indestructible.
work - passing, but the main thing - a family
And business of the woman - house our centre.

taking into account crisis position of pair and a curve rhyme I have asked two hundreds. Both customers remained are happy, though products were not a fountain. Both have written phone numbers and offers will meet to transfer money.
In a word, you are able to put lines in honour of unearthly beauty of Marvanny - a flag to you in hands, you will not be gone.

thanks teachers!

I already was was going to leave from a forum, but just in case have once again checked up personal mail. The message lying there has killed on the spot. Wrote to me... Mum pjatiklassinka. In general, companions, are in our city a certain grammar school with teachers of Russian who ten years` children force compositions about the young lady - the peasant and Mozart from Salieri to write. And in verses. In the list of requirements: a strict rhyme and not less than four stanzas.
Mum of the unfortunate child, being confused, what for - that justified before me, wrote that on the mathematician at it only the five, and under the literature tries, but verses to write anybody in their family not under force. Promised to pay.
now I write in an interval between lectures and notes. And what to do? It is necessary to rescue the child!

as it is done by others

In the newspaper of free announcements I has found the offer to write author`s verses on any subject in any genre. I dial number.

- Hallo, - has creaked in a tube pensionersky a voice.

I have rushed to state the request - a pier, so much feasts approach, not to do without in any way you...

- Well, I for each stanza take on 100 roubles, - the poet with the experience has there and then taken occasion by the forelock. - and less than two stanzas I do not write. If it suits you, we will talk further.

- Arranges, - having quailed from biznesmenskoj grasps of the grandfather, I have mumbled. - me to the girlfriend on birthday verses. She in Day of theatre was born, on March, 27th, and the actress. Here, I want it to congratulate. Can?

- And as, - the grandfather has confidently responded.

- And guarantees at me what? And terms?

- Guarantees? - The poet on that end of a tube was got. - you know, I am engaged in literary creativity more than 50 years! And in due time worked in the student`s newspaper “ Student`s messages “ it was published in regional newspapers... In general, popularity had the big! And all to the girl on a course of my verses have become engrossed in reading, - he has playfully added.

- And it is a lot of to you to the people it is converted? - I was curious.

- Well, depends, of course, on a season. Now here, for example, weddings are not present. And in the autumn simply squall of requests was the bride to congratulate.

On a course of this conversation the grandfather has blabbed out that in “ Fruitful “ month he earns to 10 000!

It is real!

For one and a half week of experiment I have understood the main thing - at all my sceptical relation to similar work and obvious hack-work, to earn on rhymery really. And to receive not easier trifle on ice-cream or cigarettes, and a real increase to the salary. It thus that I sat to myself of the house at the computer and rhymed love with carrots and a fur-tree with a whisk. The days which have been led round on a calendar by a red marker, does not become less. And teachers - experimenters too. And we, able to put rhymes, and in crisis, and not in crisis we will make profit of another`s happiness.